Kojiki (part one)

Did you wake up this morning thinking to yourself, Man, I really want to read about the Kojiki?  Well, if so, today is your lucky day!  If not...DEAL WITH IT.

Academic Post #8 (aw, geez, I am so slow at this)

Kojiki (part one): Oh boy I guess this is what happens when you pay attention to anatomical differences

So in case you've forgotten, the Kojiki is one of the oldest extant Japanese documents.  It's a sort of creation-story-history-genealogy thing written in 712. It was intended to clarify the history of the imperial family (as well as the aristocratic families) and give an explanation for their ruling Japan.  It also recorded a bunch of native myths/songs/stories.  So an important document all around!  The stories continue to be fairly well-known in Japan today, a little bit like Greek myths in the US (although kids don't study them in school).

So, with that out of the way, let's dive into the story!

The Kojiki opens with a bunch of chapters* that nobody really cares about or bothers to remember.  Basically, at the beginning of the universe, suddenly three kami came into existence and then, while the land was floating around like a jellyfish, there were suddenly reeds and two more kami sprouted from the reeds.  They were called the '"separate heavenly deities."  Suddenly, a bunch more kami, called the "seven generations of kami" appeared!  Where did they come from?  Not important.  You'll never hear about most of them again.  Let's move on.
If you haven't already guessed, a great deal of the Kojiki just has things happening for no real discernible reason, and nobody really bothers to offer an explanation (or if there's an explanation, it just makes the reader more confused).

The only two kami who are actually important out of this bunch are Izanagi (male) and Izanami (female), the last of the seven generations of kami.  The separate heavenly kami said, "Hey, you guys, go solidify the land!" so they grabbed a special jeweled spear and dipped it into the brine and stirred a bunch.  When they lifted the spear out of the water, the brine that dripped from the spear formed an island.  They descended to the island, erected a pillar, and then the following EXCESSIVELY EROTIC scene occurred:

At this time [Izanagi-no-mikoto] asked his spouse IZANAMI-NO-MIKOTO, saying:
"How is your body formed?"
She replied, saying:
"My body, formed though it be formed, has one place which is formed insufficiently."
Then IZANAGI-NO-MIKOTO said:
"My body, formed though it be formed, has one place which is formed to excess.  Therefore, I would like to take that place in my body which is formed to excess and insert it into that place in your body which is formed insufficiently, and [thus] give birth to the land.  How would this be?"
IZANAMI-NO-MIKOTO replied, saying:
"That will be good."
Then IZANAGI-NO-MIKOTO said:
"Then let us, you and me, walk in a circle around this heavenly pillar and meet and have conjugal intercourse."**

Ancient Japanese erotica, ladies and gentlemen!***
One of the really interesting things about Shinto is that most religions have Strong Opinions about Sex (and they are usually sex-negative).  Sex is bad!  Sex is evil!  Sex is dirty!  Sex is okay but only if you're doing it with your spouse in order to have children!  Shinto on the other hand is kind of like, "I dunno, do whatever you want.  It's cool.  Sex makes babies sometimes I guess."

Anyway, after that incredibly erotic discussion, they walked around the pillar, Izanami greeted**** Izanagi and then Izanagi greeted Izanami and they did the deed.  But their baby was born a leech child and their second baby was apparently a failure of an island.  After setting the leech child adrift in a reed boat (whoo, infanticide!), they go ask for advice (from the heavenly separate kami) on how to actually make babies correctly.  As it turns out, the reason that their babies were fail babies was because Izanami spoke first, and when women speak before men, they have fail babies.

Interestingly enough, the male supremacy bit seems to be imported from China, as there are some records of the story without the entire leech child chunk.  There are a couple of other sexist chunks of the story that appear to be later additions influenced by Chinese schools of thought/Buddhism.

Anyway, Izanami and Izanagi did their whole walking around the pillar thing again, except Izanagi spoke first this time so they had moderately acceptable babies.  Anyway, they proceeded to have SO MANY BABIES, which is to say that they gave birth to all the islands of Japan and then a whole slew of kami.  Just as the reader is falling asleep from the excessive listing of all their children, Izanami gives birth to a fire kami who burns her genitals and she falls sick.  She vomits and kami are born from her vomit and she defecates and kami are born from her faeces***** and she urinates and kami are born from her urine and then she passes away.
Izanagi, understandably, was not so thrilled by this turn of events, and wept bitterly (giving birth to a kami from his tears).  He then buried his wife and cut off the fire kami's head with a sword.  The blood on the sword and the dead kami's body all turned into a bunch of other kami, which are then all listed.

And then Izanagi goes to the underworld to try to win his wife back, but that will be a story for next time.

If you want to read ahead, the best translation (that I know of) of the Kojiki into English is this one.

I leave you with this incredibly dumb comic Ellie made me draw.

(Click on it to make it bigger.)

*Each chapter being about a page long.

**From page 50 of Kojiki.

***I made Louki read this passage.  The look on her face was brilliant. I wish I had a camera.

****The actual dialogue from the scene goes something along the lines of:
"Whoa, this guy is hot!"
"Whoa, this girl is hot!"
Not even kidding.

*****The classiest word for poop!